I spent my entire therapy session today in tears. Within seconds of sitting down, I was picking up the tissues. I didn't say much. Just cried. The entire time. My Dr. tried to get me to "explain what's behind the tears." I tried. But not much came out. It's what I've been doing all day. And I can't explain it.
I'm going to Paris on Tuesday. I should be excited, but I'm dreading it. I'm dreading 3 meals a day with my family, my mother who talks either about food or how she wants to be skinny, and just generally being a tourist. I just want to blend in. Read a book in a coffee shop and otherwise relax. Enough of this go go go.
I still haven't finished my semester yet. Sunday. It'll be over soon. I need it to be.
I thought I was hungry tonight. And, because I have nothing in my house, I ordered Chinese. By the time it came, I no longer wanted it. It's in the fridge. I did check my fortune though - it was about how you need to take time to rest and relax. No kidding. Since September, I've been on over 30 planes, had 70+ interviews, (written that many thank-yous), had more business lunches (damn them) than I can count, carried a full course load, and worked a part-time job for a professor. Not to mention, spending time with a boyfriend,traveling home to visit my parents twice, teaching piano lessons, and keeping Shabbat. No wonder I'm tired. I need a break.
Funny how in this list, keeping Shabbat is a chore. It just all takes time. And it's about time I had some time to myself.
And for the next 3 weeks, I don't have access to my scale. I know this is probably a good thing for me, but I really want it. Really. I might go buy one. But there's no socially responsible place to buy a scale. Wal-Mart and Target don't count. I didn't see one at the thrift store when I went yesterday. Boo.